What's in a Word? Aria Deconstructed

The announcement last week that the government's Arpa-style agency would go ahead was met with what can only be described as bewildered positivity. Yes, it's great that there'll be more funding for research, and we're all pleased with the promised speed and lack of bureaucracy, but what does it actually mean? 

European Funding: A History in Logos

Although the draft work programmes for the EC's new Framework Programme, Horizon Europe, are being leaked and the Portugese presidency is making it a priority to get things moving on it, the main question has yet to be answered: what's the logo for it, and how does it compare to previous iterations? Fortunately, fearless Fundermentals is here to help. 

Levelling up the Arpa Moonshots in a Time of Covid

The new Industrial Strategy in full
(Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash)

Last month it was reported that the Business Secretary, Alok Sharma, wanted to 'rip up' the Industrial Strategy and start again. Now read on. 

UKRI Opts for a Simples Future

'The king is dead; long live the queen!' With this triumphal proclamation from the battlements of Death Star House, the change in UKRI was announced, resounding across Swindon, to all the furthest roundabouts and even to the Oasis Leisure Centre.

Six Tips on Working from Home - and one of them is actually good

Wigs: a necessity
(Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash)

Like Alice in Wonderland, it feels as if, in the past two weeks, we’ve tumbled into a new world where none of the old rules apply. Gone is the commute, the weekend shopping, and the easy access to toilet rolls. Gone are the crowds, the sport, and the traffic jams. So it’s not all bad.

It’s bewildering, and nowhere more so than in the working environment. Most of us are working from home now, but what does that mean, and how can we do it effectively? Newspapers, blogs and broadcasters have all rushed to offer advice. Here, we summarise the common hints and tips that have emerged.

Coronavirus: a message from FTU

Pigeon: an option
(Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash)

Fundermental Towers University

2 Acacia Avenue

Rochester

Kent

WE-R GR8

Dear valued member of staff

Coronavirus

I am writing to let you know that, henceforth - or is it forthwith? I never can remember - all of our teaching will be delivered virtually to ensure that none of our valued students give us a scathing review on the NSS. 

Strictly Come Reshuffle

The Johnsons have long been known to keep power in the family. With the ascent of Boris, Stanley isn't far behind and Jo - troublesome Jo - would be very welcome in the tent if only he didn't keep resigning. 

The love of family has been evident in the recent reshuffle too. In a surprise move the ministerial brief for universities and science has been split into two: one for universities and one for science. 

Pathways to 50 Shades of Grey

The basement of Death Star House
(Photo by Víctor Jesús Carrasco)

The news that the Pathways to Impact attachment was being dropped from Research Council applications was met with disbelief this week. But the true reason for the change is far stranger than anyone imagined...

______________________

Seeking an Extension

Donnez-moi la mort (Photo by Mathew MacQuarrie on Unsplash)

Emotions ride high as extensions to deadlines are sought, and nowhere more so than at Fundermentals Towers University. Now read on.

Inside No 10

Top notch chap.

Jo Johnson, the Science Minister, resigned today. Now read on.
_______________________________

UKRI Delivery Plan Top Trumps

For us research policy nerds, the past week has been like Christmas. Each of the constituent parts of UK Research and Innovation, as well as the all seeing eye that watches over them, have all produced their Delivery Plans.

These flesh out the - ahem -  'Strategic Prospectus', which was published last year. How long are these valid for? Well, that's moot, but at least until the next Comprehensive Spending Review (so 2019-20) after which it will 'update our 'near-term actions' to reflect the financial years covered in the SR.'

The fine art of acromancy

Acro-monious

A sure sign of having gone native in any profession is when you start talking in acronyms. ‘Yeah, I’ve been helping a PI on a GCRF application,’ you might casually explain to colleagues round the water cooler,  ‘but it turns out they’re not paying fEC. Worse still, it breaks all GDPR requirements, and it’s not even ODA-compliant! Nightmare!’
Everyone nods in sympathy. Some make a mental note to avoid either GCRF or water coolers in the future. Possibly both. Others, however, go back to their desks and feverishly Google the terms. Federal Election Commission? Are they responsible for the Geocentric Celestial Reference Frame? If so, how the hell did the Oregon Department of Agriculture get involved? And isn’t π pronounced pi rather than PI?

Liam Neeson to lead 'Transformation' of UKRI

Never short of a controversy or two, UKRI has selected a fellow courter of controversy to lead on it's - ahem - 'transformation': Liam Neeson.

As anyone who's watched all 23 Taken films, 'transformation' can only mean one thing, and it usually ends badly for anyone who crosses the 66 year old Northern Irish star.

Any relation to Geoff Robins, formerly of various arms companies, is entirely coincidental.

Robbins

Neeson

At Home with Phil Baty

Chair Number 4
(Photo by Ryan Riggins on Unsplash)

Early evening in the Baty household. Phil is busy rooting through the kitchen cupboards. Mrs Baty comes in. 

Mrs Baty: Phil, what are you doing? And why are all these tins of soup all over the floor?
Phil: I'm ranking.
Mrs Baty: I beg your pardon?
Phil: I'm ranking. With an R. It was complete chaos in the soup cupboard. I couldn't tell which was the most popular soup flavour. I've done a serious, robust qualitative study of all respondents (n=1), and I'm delighted to announce the winner of the inaugural Times Higher Soup Rankings. Cream of Tomato is at number 1 with 100% of the allocated soup points.

Research England Launches 'Old MacDonald' Funding Suite

On the farm: E-I--E-I-O
(Photo by Stijn te Strake on Unsplash)

Regular readers will know that there's a special place in our hearts for funders and policymakers who use random letters of the alphabet to name their initiatives. The European Commission are past masters at this, realigning all of their thematic directorates to the letter P in February, and launching a '3 Os' agenda in 2016.

Not to be outdone, the newly-flush Research England is making great headway in getting on this bandwagon being a leader in this field. Keen eyed applicants may have noticed that their two most recent schemes, Expanding Excellence in England (E3) and International Investment Initiative (i3), are a bold and brave attempt to shoehorn a vaguely descriptive title into a single vowel.

Meanwhile, in Oslo...

Norway: Jealous.
(Photo by Mikita Karasiou on Unsplash)

As we glory in the sunny, post-Brexit uplands of Britannia resurgent, more evidence has reached us of the 'envy of less happier lands.'

The Norwegian parliament in Oslo is currently in deadlock over ways to fully split its people and cause disbelief, hilarity and ill-will amongst its closest neighbours. As we know, this is the aim of all governments, as it gives people something to talk about in the awkward downtime between seasons of Love Island and I'm a Celebrity.

Ps and Qs

'My names Paquet. Jean-Eric Paquet'
(Photo by David Sinclair on Unsplash)

While the UK political class implodes and SS Great Britain steams with grim determination towards the Brexit iceberg, DG Research has other priorities. Yes, it's time for a reorganisation.

The Right Trousers

EPSRC, in a bold move, has chosen small business owner Wendolene Ramsbottom to be its Executive Chair.

The Rise of the Flexigator

A fully balanced flexigator diet of a block grant burger and side order of study leave
Photo by Edward Franklin on Unsplash

With the rise in vegetarianism and veganism, meat eaters with a conscience are having a difficult time. They enjoy meat, but they don't want to appear like they don't care about animal welfare or the future of the planet.

Luckily semantics is at hand to help them out. 'Flexitarianism' is the new name they invented to suggest that they've given some serious thought to things, and that, whilst they'll still eat anything they want, they might occasionally eat a bit less meat and aren't adverse to a lentil or two.

The success of 'flexitarianism' has had an unexpected effect on the world of research funding. It has been adapted by those academics who really care about grants and external funding, but don't actually want to change any old habits.

At Home with the Gyimahs

Millet-based breakfast at the Gyimahs. Yum (photo: CC0, via MaxPixel)

Universities minister Sam Gyimah told the UUK Conference this week that universities had 'not risen to the challenge' of replacing research opportunities after Brexit. Now read on.