Tuesday, 12 August 2014

In the Salon

In June Research Professional reported that Prof Adam Tickell,  successor to Dame Janet Finch, will be holding a series of salons to discuss Open Access.

Open Access salons! What a great idea.

A hairdressing salon. A row of women sit under hard hat dryers along the back wall, flicking through out of date copies of Grazia magazine. At the front a stylist fusses around a client in front of a large mirror.The bell on the door tinkles as a woman enters. Everyone turns to look at her.

STYLIST: Can I help you, love?
WOMAN (nervously): Yes, I was wanting a quick trim..?
STYLIST: Open Access, is it?
WOMAN: Pardon?
STYLIST: Do you want your haircut to be Open Access?
WOMAN: I don't really understand...
STYLIST: Do you want your hair to be freely viewed by members of the public? Or do you want to wear this over your head?

She holds up a paper bag. 

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Lundegaard to Head up UK Universities

The landscape has changed. The earth has shifted. After four years in post David 'Two Brains' Willetts has stepped down as Minister of State for Universities and Science. He has held the post in both opposition and government since 2005. As the dust settles on the reshuffle, one thing is clear: David Cameron's been avidly watching the DVD of Fargo. Why else would he get on the blower and offer the hapless Jerry Lundegaard the most prestigious position in higher education?

You're darn tootin'!