Levelling up the Arpa Moonshots in a Time of Covid

The new Industrial Strategy in full
(Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash)

Last month it was reported that the Business Secretary, Alok Sharma, wanted to 'rip up' the Industrial Strategy and start again. Now read on. 

A Zoom call. 

Sharma: Hello? Can you hear me? Can anyone hear me? 

Amanda Solloway: You've got to unmute.

Sharma: Hello?

Michelle Doelan: Press the 'unmute' button. It's at the bottom. 

Sharma: Ah: I think I was on mute. So listen: I was thinking it was about time we had a new industrial strategy. 

Solloway: A new one? But isn't the old one still in date? 

Sharma: Barely. I mean, it was pre-Covid. Surely we need to sex it up with a bit of Covid. 

Doelan: I'm not sure that's the point of an industrial strategy. 

Sharma: Dom thinks it is. That and Arpa. Gotta have a bit of Arpa. Perhaps we can rename it the Cov-arpa Strategy. What do you think? 

Solloway: Umm...

Doelan: So what will be in the new industrial strategy? What's your thinking? 

Sharma: Well Covid, obviously. And Arpa. Have I mentioned Arpa? I think we could shoehorn a few moonshots in there as well. 

Solloway: And levelling up? 

Sharma: God, yeah! Gotta have a bit of levelling up. 'Levelling up the Arpa moonshots in a time of Covid'. That's what we'll call it. No one will think we're trading in short-term political expediencies with a title like that. Dom'll love it. 

Solloway: Umm...

Doelan: The thing is, Minister, its been less than three years since the last strategy. And it was quite broad: I mean a focus on artificial intelligence and big data; clean growth; the future of mobility; and an ageing society. Those issues haven't gone away. 

Sharma: I notice there's no mention of Arpa, though.

Doelan: Yes! But that's the point, Minister. It's intended to be broad and visionary, and not responding to the specific policy drivers of the moment. 

Sharma: Dom won't be happy to hear you talk like that. We need the weirdos and misfits. You need to show some 'genuine cognitive diversity.' You're too straight, man. 

Solloway: But if we have a new industrial strategy every couple of years, no one will pay any attention to it. 

Sharma: Is that a problem? I mean, you can't sit still with Arpa moonshots going off all over the place. You'll be completely levelled up. Or down. 

Solloway:  Okay Minister. How about this? We have an appendix to the Industrial Strategy. We can call it something like...

Sharma: Covid Arpa Moonshot Level?

Solloway: Well I was thinking more, 'Super-Charing the Strategy: New Decade, New Direction.' 

Sharma: I like it! And I'm sure Dom will too. It's sexy and empty. Perfect! What will it say?

Solloway: Absolutely nothing. A few graphs. A picture of someone looking serious with a petridish. Someone else smiling and laughing with another person in front of a piece of engineering. Some inspirational stuff about challenges being opportunities, looking at stars in a time of darkness, looking for rainbows when it rains. That sort of thing. You know, the kind of stuff you see written on driftwood in Dunelm Mill. 

Sharma: Brilliant! This could be it: my ticket to the big time! I want you two to do a first draft for me. 

Doelan: Why us? 

Sharma: Well, if Dom hates it, I can blame you. If Dom loves it, I can say I commissioned it. 

Solloway: Sorry Alok, you seem to be breaking up. So sorry: it's my WiFi, I'm sure [clicks 'end meeting']

Doelan: Yes, me too, Alok. I'm sure it's my WiFi too [clicks 'end meeting']

Sharma: Damn! This always seems to happen to me! Ah well. I could make a start on the draft strategy myself. [Zooms his PA]. Evangeline? Hello? Sorry, I was on mute. Evangeline, where's the nearest Dunelm Mill?