Coronavirus: a message from FTU

Pigeon: an option
(Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash)

Fundermental Towers University

2 Acacia Avenue

Rochester

Kent

WE-R GR8

Dear valued member of staff

Coronavirus

I am writing to let you know that, henceforth - or is it forthwith? I never can remember - all of our teaching will be delivered virtually to ensure that none of our valued students give us a scathing review on the NSS. 

'Bird of a Feather' to Join UKRI

In an announcement that has shocked the sector, Birds of Feather star and national treasure Pauline Quirke has been appointed as Programme Director of UKRI, the umbrella organisation for bringing together the Research Councils, organising the REF and distributing Brexit sweeteners.

'Whilst I very much admire her acting talents, her appointment to this pivotal role has taken me by surprise,' said Professor Gymslip Plimsole, Vice-Chancellor of Fundermental Towers University. 'I just hope that she gets on okay with Mr Gimlet.' 

Any similarity to Anne Dixon, Chief Operating Officer of Innovate UK, is, of course, entirely coincidental.

Quirke

Dixon

FTU Bids for Regional Study

The VC and PVCs of FTU, getting into the Dickensian spirit

It may surprise readers to learn that the announcement of an AHRC/Design Council funding call focussed on Bristol/Bath was greeted with fevered excitement at Fundermental Towers University. You might reasonably have thought that, whilst FTU had expanded its sphere of influence to the very edges of the Kentish peninsular through its strategic 'R2D2' collaboration with Ebbsfleet White Horse (Unrampant), Snodhurst and Deangate Ridge Golfing Academy, this call was too geographically remote to be of interest to FTU. Not so.