SSC becomes SBS

SBS: I love the smell of paperclips
in the morning...smells like...victory

No one could ever accuse the erstwhile SSC of being laggards. Not only have they processed 3,689 applications on behalf of the Research Councils in the three months up to March this year, and prepared 1,382 offers, committing the Exchequer to some £756m but, more importantly, they have given serious and sustained consideration to their name.

Yes, we all knew that SSC was a non starter. I mean what's the good in that? Doesn't sound very exciting does it? It'll never fly.

What they needed was something snappier. Something that smacked of danger and adventure. I mean, what's more dangerous and adventurous than  processing applications and authorising payments? Nothing. That's what.

So we were very pleased that they rightly chose to rename themselves Shared Business Services which, I think you'll agree, is much more descriptive than the Shared Services Centre. Not only does this 'reflect broadening services and ownership', but more importantly it shares the acronym of the Special Boat Service.

Synchronise watches! Don the black facepainty stuff! Use those assertive hand gestures! Boom! Bang!

'Charlie Sierra Oscar One! We are in position and ready to process this AHRC Research Networking Scheme application. I repeat, we are in position and ready to process!'
'Incoming payment! Incoming payment!' Whizz! Boom!
'Ah! Prof Smith has bought it...and he's not completed the necessary claim form!' Whooosh...Bang!

Keep your eyes posted for further exciting developments in the area. There's rumours that the ESRC is going to become 'Sense and Society', or SAS, to better 'reflect broadening services and ownership' (natch). Similarly the Leverhulme Trust will be dropping all that Edwardian soap magnet nonsense and renaming itself '3 Commando', whilst AHRC, not to be outdone, is going for the 'Primary Portal for Arts Research Anywhere', or 1 PARA.

SSC Close the Circle

Shelby SuperCars Inc. Share an acronym
with the Shared Services Centre.
Oh! The glamour!

There's good news from the Shared Services Centre this week. And it's not often I get to write that sentence.

One of the long standing gripes for us research managers and administrators is that, whilst we're integral to the submission process for all Research Council applications, we don't directly get to hear the outcome of them unless they're successful. Whilst it's always nice to get good news, we would welcome bad news as well.

Why? Well, for one thing, it would let us tidy up our records. You know how anal us bureaucrats are. But, more importantly, it would help us to help the academics. When they get the dismissive one liner from the SSC, the chances are that they'll be a sobbing wreck on their office floor. If we had the nod from the SSC we could get in touch with them to talk about other alternatives. Or at least rail at the unfairness of it all with the applicant. We could share their pain.

So it was great to get the SSC email update this week and read the following: 'the Research Councils have agreed to provide feedback to Research Organisation administration offices on the outcome of proposals.'

Fabulous! But not only that, it sounds like the info they intend to provide will be more thoughtful than just a yes/no outcome. 'This will provide information on the relative ranking or scoring of proposals, as well as written feedback on the decision.'

Great news, then. They don't say when this system will be rolled out, but hats off to SSC for recognising a problem and moving to provide a solution.

SSC: Accentuating the Positive

The Jekyll and Hyde character of the Research Councils' Shared Services Centre (SSC) was once again on show last week.You might remember that it had a somewhat - ahem - 'difficult' birth, with couriers refusing to deliver to Death Star House until the SSC bills were paid off, and SSC itself being branded a 'fantastically expensive failure' by Prof John Seddon.

But that's very much the 'Mr Hyde' end of things. Let's instead focus on the respectable, Rotary Club-belonging, upstanding-member-of-the-community, 'Dr Jekyll' side of the SSC. In August last year it was shortlisted for the National Business Awards in the 'Transformational Change' category (oh so appropriate for Dr Jekyll!). But as if that wasn't enough, last week saw it scoop another trophy for the cabinet, this time for its Payroll Team.

This is, of course, fantastic news. However, whilst I'm very pleased for both the Payroll Team and the - erm - Transformational Change Team, I am still waiting for the silverware to come tumbling in for the Customer Services Team. It's a travesty that it's missed out so far, and it can only be down to some high level conspiracy. How else can you explain that fact that it's not yet been given the 2011 Quick and Effective Response to Enquiries Award?

SSC Shortlisted for Award Shock

For anyone who's every had any dealings with the RCUK Shared Services Centre, or has read about its growing pains, this news will come as something of a shock. The SSC has been shortlisted for an award! And it's not even the award for the organisation least likely to be able to organise a piss-up in a brewery. No, its the National Business Award for (the slightly tautological) Transformational Change of the Year.

Transformational Change? What does that mean? Well, I'm glad you asked me that. 'Pioneers of transformational change...enhanc[e] the citizen and customer experience, achiev[e] more with less, and creat[e] better value for stakeholders.'

Really? Is this the same SSC we're talking about?

It goes on: 'this award has been designed to recognise the entity that has successfully refocused, restructured or strategically re-aligned to significantly reduce cost while improving efficiency; increased productivity, market share or revenue; enhanced the citizen’s/customers experience; and engaged staff, suppliers and all relevant stakeholders in the implementation of new systems and technologies to drive sustainability.'

Hmm. I guess that depends on how you measure 'success'. Or 'efficiency'. If they're measured by quick turnaround times and knowledgeable responses to queries, then SSC might struggle to secure the prize. However, let's be optimistic: the NBA panel might be assessing the potential for future growth and performance. And if that's the case, it's in the bag for the SSC because, as Yazz said, the only way is up.

RCUK Moon Rocks Kidnapped

A delicious story reported by Research Fortnight: apparently the rocky road to development of the Research Councils' 'Shared Service Centre' (SSC) has just got rockier. Bills have - allegedly - gone unpaid, to such a degree that the courier TNT refused to deliver to Polaris House, including a consignment of 'irreplaceable' moon rocks, destined for the STFC. Oh, you couldn't make it up.

Elsewhere various NERC facilities have been blighted by unpaid electricity and telephone bills, with bailiffs beating down their doors (sort of. Come one, with a story like this there's room for a little extra colour) and impounding computer equipment.

Whilst officially putting a brave face on it, dismissing these moon rock shenanigans as 'a few minor hiccups', off the record some on Death Star Avenue are saying that 'the SSC will never pay for itself - not in a million years.'

Don't you love it? I await the next installment with glee.