Goldilocks Grants

The first, second and third reviewers disagree about the merits
of Goldilock's research methodology

Earlier this year Michael Lauer, the National Institutes of Health’s (NIH) Deputy Director for Extramural Research, wrote an interesting blog post examining the productivity of its funding. He looked for a correlation between the amount of funding a project had received and the number of citations it got. This he described as “citations per dollar”.

Such a stark metric had many rolling their eyes, and the comments that followed questioned the underlying supposition. “Numbers of citations rarely correlate with greatest discoveries”, wrote one commentator. “Citation numbers are strongly biased towards fast-moving areas of inquiry”, said another. A third noted that “the number of citations a paper receives is an extremely error-prone measure of scientific merit.”

Nevertheless, I think it’s worth exploring Lauer’s work further for two reasons. First, because it is entirely appropriate for funders to try to assess the most effective use of their limited resources. Second, because the conclusion he hints at runs counter to the current drive by the majority of funders to back larger and longer projects.

University Academy College Church Firestation 91

Street Fighter II: 'The big one'

A press release from Fundermental Towers University

In preparation for our fifth anniversary celebrations on 27 November 2017, Fundermental Towers University (FTU) is today announcing an exciting new venture.

FTU was founded in a glorious golden shower of publicity in anno domini 2012. Since then, we have completely transformed the higher education landscape in the greater Rochester area, from the strong and stable R2D2 strategic alliance, to the bold and brave rebranding exercise, to the exciting and enormous renaming the titles of all of our senior managers and faculty. And don't get me started on the Monopoly set and 'Latitude' Prize.

No, no one can accuse us of being laggards. However, our critics - like the splitters at Snodhurst University who have decided to leave the R2D2 Alliance citing 'musical differences' - are suggesting we've run out of steam.

Nothing could be further from the truth, as our new venture will today prove. I am delighted to announce the creation of the UK's very first 'University Academy College Church Firestation 91'.

CSA Sloth-Dolphin Shock

I'm sure, like me, many of you are mystified by the latest advert from Three. It features a cross between a sloth and a dolphin that was felt, in some way, to represent the idea of unlimited downloads on your mobile phone.

No, me neither. Still, it kept a lot of creatives busy, and for that we should be grateful. However, I assumed that was the last we'd hear of the sloth/dolphin. His abilities and appeal seemed, after all, a little niche.

Imagine my surprise, then, when it was announced that the same sloth/dolphin has just been made the Government's interim Chief Scientific Adviser. Who'd have guessed he was so multi-talented?

Any similarity to Chris Whitty is, of course, entirely coincidental.

Sloth/dolphin

Whitty

Giving Voice to Researchers

Vitae Conference Pack: bewildering

I last went to a Vitae Conference in 2014. In the three short years that have followed the research landscape has shifted completely. Of course, we have had the EU Referendum with the jittery uncertainty that's resulted, but there's also been the REF2014 results, the first outcomes of H2020, the Higher Education White Paper, the Nurse Review, the Stern Review, and the first announcements about REF2021. In those 36 months the research ship of state has tilted and we're waiting to see where all deckchairs have ended up.

Although the plenary was somewhat muted - I got the feeling that there was a nervousness hanging over the panel, and no one wanting to show their full hand to anyone - #vitae17 has been a chance for all those who support researchers to take stock, to assess what's worked, and to think about how best to go forward.

Exclusive: Eraserhead Appointed as CFO of UKRI

In a shocking development UKRI, the self-styled 'best funder in the world ever', has announced that Eraserhead would be its first Chief Finance Officer.

'These are exciting times for us,' enthused Mark Walport, self-styled 'bionic man and best CEO of a funding body in the world ever'. 'And exciting times means we need to appoint exciting people. Eraserhead has had much previous experience in caring for difficult newborns, in desolate, post-apocalyptic landscapes. As such he is an ideal candidate for leading this new, best-funder-in-the-world-ever, through a post-Brexit UK.'

Any relation to Ian Kenyon, formerly of Cancer Research UK, is entirely coincidental.

Eraserhead

Kenyon

HEFCE Announces 'Confidence and Supply' Logo

We were shocked to learn today that, despite all the excellent work by the Fundermentals Creative Team, it's logo was not chosen to represent REF2021.

Logo: not chosen