'Large Hadron Colliders All Round!'

A large hadron collider. Come on: you know you want one.

It has come to our attention that some people may be swayed by the promises of R&D investment made by the major parties when it comes to voting in the general election on June 8th. Both Labour and the Conservatives have promised to increase spending on research and development to 3% of GDP, and the Lib Dems have pledged to 'double' R&D spending across the economy. 

Don't listen to them. They'll promise it all and deliver nothing. When it comes to empty promises, only one party has the necessary track record: The Fundermental Understanding of Critical Knowledge for All party. We are committed to strong and stable research leadership. We recognise that 3% of GDP is a derisory insult to the the people of this great country of ours. It is positively European. It reeks of garlic and foreignness. 

It's All Gone a Bit Graphene

A graphene Fiona Bruce

There was news last month of Manchester building a second graphene hub. Now read on.

The set of the Antiques Roadshow, October 2525. Everyone is dressed in graphene, and are sitting around graphene tables under graphene parasols. A graphene Fiona Bruce presents. 

Bruce: Welcome to Antiques Roadshow. You join us this week in the beautiful surroundings of Graphene Palace, an early twenty first centre mansion in the Palladian style, but the first building in Britain to be built entirely from graphene.
Audience: gasps of disbelief
Bruce: I know, I know, it's hard to believe now, but in the early twenty first century little was known about graphene, and a huge amount of research effort and time was spent in finding out more about it. It was seen as the wonder substance.
Audience: laugh incredulously
Bruce: It was thought to be the next big thing. Little did our forebears know that it would become so ubiquitous and essentially worthless. But let's go over to our experts to find out what graphene objects have been brought to us today.
The camera pans around to a table where a graphene Eric Knowles is examining a pot.
Knowles: So tell me, how did you come by this pot?