Shock Poll Result: Turkeys Vote for Christmas

Turkeys: willing to 'respond flexibly'

In a surprise election upset, turkeys on a farm in Norfolk have voted unanimously for Christmas.

'Well I'm as shocked as anyone,' said turkey farmer Sajid David. 'I've been preparing for a cull for sometime, and have been thinking about the most cost effective way of doing it. I've even drafted in two separate sets of consultants to advise me. I thought it was going to be a difficult and painful process'.

'However, late last night a group of seven turkeys knocked on my door and said that they had had a vote, and they were all committed to Christmas'.

'They told me that they had formulated a plan called 'Research Turkeys Together', and that they would be meeting again in early November to discuss a timetable for implementing wider changes, before adding that they will put feedback mechanisms in place.'

'I said, 'thank you very much', but before they went they said that they did recognise that discussions about their future would continue, but that they had reached a view on immediate actions that they could decide on now to be more collectively effective. By beginning this work, they believe that they  will be able to respond flexibly to the recommendations or decisions of those external reviews.'

'You've got to admire them for making this decision when staring down the barrel of a gun'.