Friday, 13 September 2013

OA: Finch Hits Back

Following this week's report from the Select Committee on Open Access, Dame Janet Finch has hit back.

The MPs had questioned her preference for Gold OA, saying that, 'at a time when the budgets of universities are under great pressure, it is unacceptable that the government has issued an open-access policy that will require considerable subsidy from research budgets in order to both maintain journal subscriptions and cover article processing charges.'

Finch's response was clear: 'That's exactly what I said.'

When questioned further by confused journalists, she elaborated. 'Look, many of the conclusions are the same as those in the Finch Report. Any right thinking person would see that where I wrote 'gold' I inferred 'green', and where I wrote 'green' I inferred 'gold'. Anyone who works in government understands that black is white and white is black, and should be argued as such.'

'Where we disagreed it is because the members of the Select Committee are bumbling old fools have not taken into account Learned Societies, who are fully behind what I say because they need the cash.'

'Perhaps next time they could get on the blower to me and I'll explain to them how stupid they are.'

'Now if there are no more questions I've got an important meeting with Barack Obama to explain what an idiot he's been and how I can help in Syria.'

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