Meanwhile, in M&S...

A NERC scientist chats happily to an M&S worker. Possibly

It was announced yesterday that NERC and Marks and Spencer would share data. Now read on.

The check out of Marks and Spencer’s. A woman is at the check out with a Per Una top and a plastic box of chocolate bites.

Check out Assistant: That will be £53.99, please. Can I interest you in our store card?

Customer (fumbling for her credit card): Um, no, that’s alright, thanks.

Check out Assistant: You get an extra 10% off today’s purchase.

Customer: No, I’m fine, thank you.

Check out Assistant: You can spread the payments. Help you to manage your costs.

Customer: No, I really am fine, thanks.

Check out Assistant; Very reasonable rates.

Customer: No.

Check out Assistant: No problem madam. We do have an offer on the chocolate bites today. Buy two, get a third half price.

Customer: No, thanks. I only want the one.

Check out Assistant: I understand madam. Can I interest you in a Research Strategy?

Molecular Strategies

All big organisations love strategies, and universities are no exception. The University of Sussex had just launched its Strategy 2013-18: Making the Future.

What impressed me most was its presentation. Rather than a boring text document, Sussex have gone for a radical approach, etching aspirational and inspiring words on to the multicoloured planes of a buckminsterfullerene molecule.

For the chemically illiterate amongst us (including me), a buckminsterfullerene is a c60 carbon molecule, discovered by Sussex chemist Professor Sir Harold Kroto, who went on to earn a Nobel Prize for his labours.

As if that connection wasn't enough, the c60 is 'made up of pentagons and hexagons [and] its cage-like spherical structure allows it to withstand extreme pressure and temperature, as well as to react selectively with other molecules while retaining its shape.' Which makes perfect sense. Any strategy needs to withstand extreme pressure and (heated) debate. Its ability to react selectively with other molecules is perhaps less apparent, but we'll let that pass.

The Sussex Strategy made me think that the rest of us are missing a trick. There are plenty of molecules out there, and we should be harnessing them as metaphors. So, for anyone who is beginning to draft a strategy and needs to have a talismanic molecule in mind, here's a list of five possibilities to get you started:

• Curcurbituril: a pumpkin shaped molecule. As such, has the possibility to transform into a beautiful carriage, given the right input. It's also an efficient host molecule and has a particularly high affinity for positively charged or cationic compounds. But I don't think we need dwell on that. 
• Pterodactyladiene: a molecule shaped like a pterodactyl. Some might accuse you of being a little backward looking if you use this one, but you can counter by saying that the intense structural strain this molecule faces (due, of course, to its planar carbon rings. Do keep up) reflects the necessary and important 'strain' that your strategy will place on the arcane and antiquated systems you hope to change. Either that or you'll be wiped out be a meteorite.
• Penguinone: shaped like a penguin. Useful for your strategy, as it will help to win over your detractors. I mean who doesn't like penguins? 
• Lampane: shaped like a lampshade. Because your strategy will shine like a beacon, to lead your institution out of the darkness. Oh yes.
• Etorphine: used as an elephant tranquiliser. Make of that what you will.