RCUK Announces Major Breakthrough in 'Substance Free Strategy'

Groundbreaking 'tri-breast' logo.

RCUK, the umbrella organisation for the UK's Research Councils, announced a major breakthrough in substance-free strategic development today.

In a hastily convened press conference the Chair of RCUK, Prof Rick Rylance, explained the breakthrough.

'Researchers and policy makers have been working for decades, if not centuries, on this problem,' gushed Rylance. 'Is it possible to make policy announcements that are completely without any substance whatsoever? Last night our researchers identified that this was, indeed, the case.'

AHRC: 'We'll Start with a Poem...'

Custard Cream: In Demand

The Arts & Humanities Research Council turn 10 this year, and to celebrate they are planning to fund an art event loosely based on Chinese Whispers. Now read on.

A meeting of the Strategic Working Action Group on Greater Explanation of Research in the Humanities (SWAGGER (H)) at AHRC HQ in Death Star House. Conference-quality coffee is being served. They are in to their third hour. All the custard creams are gone. 

Chair: Right! So that's Working Group's acronym sorted. We're all happy with SWAGGER (H)? Those in favour..?
(A desultory show of hands)
And those against...?
(A desultory show of hands).
Motion carried! Excellent! Now on to item 2: plans to celebrate our 10th anniversary...yes, Alison, what is it?

Picking Winners

Lord Leverhulme: the choice is yours.

On 10 December 2014 The Leverhulme Trust announced a new centres scheme. “A major new initiative,” gushed the press release, “representing a commitment of up to £10m over 10 years for each centre”.

The sting came in the tail. “Each UK university will be permitted to make one bid as the principal applicant institution.” My heart sank. Of course I could see why Leverhulme wanted to limit the number of applications it received, but I knew that managing the demand within the university would mean treading carefully, being scrupulously fair—and answering lots and lots of emails.