Tuesday, 24 March 2015

AHRC Announces Emergency 'Car Park Excavation' Scheme

AHRC: 'Plenty more where he came from'
The excitement surrounding the discovery of the remains of the last Plantagenet king, Richard III, under a car park in Leicester in August 2012, was reignited by his reburial at the weekend.

The AHRC has responded to the public excitement by issuing a NERC-style 'urgency' grant for anyone interested in digging up a local car park in the hope of finding a king.

'This is a very exciting time for archaeological and historical research,' gushed the long-haired lover of Liverpool, AHRC Director of Research, Prof Mark Llewellyn, 'as well as for anyone with a car park. The AHRC is nothing if not responsive to the needs of the sector and the cultural drivers within society. We would urge anyone who knows of a municipal carpark near them that might possibly be hiding a misunderstood king - or other royalty, we're really not that fussy - to get in touch. This scheme demonstrates our commitment to impact and public engagement. And kings in carparks, of course.'

Details of the scheme are yet to be confirmed, but it is believed that the Council will offer £100k (fEC) to anyone that can present them with evidence that they have permission to use and have suitable experience of:

(a) a carpark
(b) a JCB
(c) Debrett's

'A 'pay and display' parking ticket is not sufficient evidence of permission for use', clarified Llewellyn. 'Similarly, an entry ticket to Diggerland will not be acceptable as evidence of JCB experience.'

Some commentators suggested that the scheme was just further evidence of the AHRC trying to jump on whatever bandwagon was currently rolling, after its ill-fated 'big society' priority shortly after the Coalition Government came to power.

'Nothing could be further from the truth,' said Llewellyn. 'Now if you don't mind, I've got an important meeting with the Great British Bake Off people to see if they'd be interested in running our peer review system.'


  1. A point of attribution: I think you'll find it was Jimmy rather than Donny Osmond who sang of long-haired lovers

  2. My god, you're right! I'm mortified.