Tuesday, 30 October 2012

'It's a Sad End to a Great...Um...'

Medics were today called to a house in the leafy home counties to try and resuscitate a local celebrity.

Known only as '94', the once glamorous patient had recently cut a shuffling, slightly confused figure, and friends had become increasingly concerned by his apparent lack of direction.

'He used to corner people at parties,' confided one university, that wished to remain anonymous. 'He'd plead with them to be his friend, to join him. When they didn't, he'd start to rant and swear. It was frankly embarrassing'.

Lately he had been seen at bus stops in the dodgier university towns, with a can of Special Brew, shouting at the passing cars. On more than one occasion the police had to be called, and one of his fourteen remaining friends had to bail him out.

It is believed that 94 had issues around maintaining his position in society.  When passers-by started to concentrate their funding elsewhere his friends abandoned him, and his descent accelerated.

'It's a sad end to a great..um, a great...er,' said another university, eyes darting around the room. 'By the way, have you seen Russell?'


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