How to Write an Email

Pencils. But at least it's not a stock image
of someone at a computer, right? (Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash)

We’ve all received them: long, rambling emails with a detailed preamble that would make Tolstoy blush, a vaguely officious tone and the main question buried deep in the 32nd paragraph.

Worse still, we’ve all written them. So how do we stop doing it, and get people to read our messages and respond to them?

The fine art of acromancy

Acro-monious

A sure sign of having gone native in any profession is when you start talking in acronyms. ‘Yeah, I’ve been helping a PI on a GCRF application,’ you might casually explain to colleagues round the water cooler,  ‘but it turns out they’re not paying fEC. Worse still, it breaks all GDPR requirements, and it’s not even ODA-compliant! Nightmare!’
Everyone nods in sympathy. Some make a mental note to avoid either GCRF or water coolers in the future. Possibly both. Others, however, go back to their desks and feverishly Google the terms. Federal Election Commission? Are they responsible for the Geocentric Celestial Reference Frame? If so, how the hell did the Oregon Department of Agriculture get involved? And isn’t π pronounced pi rather than PI?