Sunday, 25 January 2015

'All Hail the High Priests of the Eureka Temple!'

Senior management arrive for work

At Fundermental Towers University we are always keen to learn from others. Not only are we intending to rename our institution in the spirit of the King's rebrand, we are pleased to announce that all our academics will be given new and exciting titles in line with Bristol's recently advertised 'Associate Dean of Eureka Moments.' 

I appreciate that this will be a confusing time for all involved, so I've prepared a cut out and keep guide to these changes. New name badges will be issued accordingly.

Vice ChancellorKing of Forever
PVC ResearchVision Conjuror & Associate Dean of the Inspiral Carpets
Faculty DeansMagicians Most Royal
Dean of Graduate SchoolKing of the Future People
Directors of ResearchHigh Priests of the Eureka Temple
ProfessorsEmperors of Knowledge
ReadersPhilosopher Princes
Senior LecturersDukes of Didacticism
LecturersEarls of the Esoteric
Director of Research ServicesDream Maker/Consoler-in-Chief

I'd be grateful if these new titles could be used in all future correspondence. The senior management is also working on appropriate forms of address for the new system. Whilst this is being finalised, it is best for all commoners to address anyone of rank or achievement simply as 'my lord' or 'my lady'. We don't want to get hung up on ceremony. Yet.

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